going a little deeper February 14, 2010

on this Vday, im pondering…why is it we refuse to allow others (the ones who love us most) to get close?? i know for me, im not used to someone loving me so much. stay at arms length, i think…its comfortable there…
vulnerability is difficult. but since when is growth and strength easy? letting someone in to see the good, bad and really ugly. don’t want anyone to see the repulsive, unlovely things in me. but i’m not God, not perfect. i’d love to be. how could i be so loved when some of these things are a part of me? but, really, a perfect, stepford robot can’t give and receive love…we can love because we are human…capable and inevitably making mistakes. but with this capability comes the ability to make the choice to love and accept another person…a person who also is imperfect.
the only perfect one is God – we can make a choice to follow His example. To lay down our life (our oppinions, agendas, standards) and embrace the other. I love you, Daniel. thanks for your patience while i discover receiving love. giving love is not a problem, on my part. it’s the receiving that is an issue for me. but i’m learning.