Melanie Ross Weblog

a small peek into my brain

Humble Pie January 21, 2012

Filed under: justice,life coaching,peace — melanieross @ 7:45 pm

If you saw the movie or read the book, The Help you might remember the scene when Minny gets her revenge.  If not – well, take a look—>Click Here

ah – sweet revenge – nothing feels better….at least for a moment.

Many of us have been wronged, harmed, violated in ways unimaginable.  What’s better than justice being served up nice and cold “Minny style”? Personally, I love it when people get what’s coming to them.  No one loves justice more than I.  I think about Braveheart when William Wallace goes on a slaughtering rampage after seeing the love of his life murdered.  Unrelenting revenge was in him and he executed it with brutal passion.

The other day I pondered: I wonder what taste better – revenge pie or humble pie?  Think about it.

Humble pie is not easy to eat.  It is prepared with anguish and struggle.  Heartache is a key ingredient and tears often are added.  Please note that this pie is quite costly to cook up as the ingredients are hard to find.  In my experience, this isn’t a pie you can cook on a whim, but rather, strategic planning is required.  But what makes this sweet treat so special is the rarity of the finished product.

Revenge pies are a dime a dozen.  We see it dished out around every corner, served with a passive-aggressive smile. There is something so sweet about that pie, it really does taste good.  But it will rot your gut and the hunger for retribution is never truly satisfied.

Humility comes with a promise.  If you pass the baton of revenge, to the only One who can actually execute it -satisfaction is sure to follow.  Bake and eat the humble pie.  Cry the tears.  Scream into the night.  Embrace the bitter anger that it might pass.  Humble pie is filling and satisfying.  It comes with a knowing down deep inside, that things do pan out in the end.  Forgiveness does NOT mean forgetfulness.  It does not mean naivete, but a quiet knowing that evil will be overcome.

An apple pie made from scratch, showing both t...

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Romans 12:14-21

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. 17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. 20 “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”


What’s your flavor? January 8, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — melanieross @ 5:44 pm
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Jesus encouraged His followers to be the “salt of the earth” – this phrase has been used in describing overall good people; “He’s a real salt of the earth kind of guy.” I’ve pondered this and when I was in Hawaii in October, I went into a store that sold several different kinds of salts – pink salt, black volcanic salt, red salt – all from different places on the earth and all ideal for flavoring various types of food.

Immediately I went to Jesus’ message and considered this. If we are called to be the “salt of the earth”, perhaps He was encouraging the masses to “flavor” the earth in their own unique way. My flavor is distinct from yours.

Many have preached this message based on the healing and preserving qualities of salt – all of which are applicable.  But I go a step farther to include the individuality, gift set/qualities, and personal calling of the “salt” (you and me!)If we are to truly salt the earth the challenge is to be able to maintain our individuality while collaborating with our environment.

So what happens if we lose our flavor??

Well, we are good for nothing except to be thrown out and trampled under the feet of men.  Harsh.

If we are constantly conforming to our surroundings, losing our uniqueness, we will surely be  run over by everyone.  We must know ourselves and what we bring to the table in our relationships, work environment, and everything we do.  Think about if we don’t do our part…Have you ever said, “It needs more salt,” after tasting something you cooked?  The creation is incomplete without the flavor.  So, your world is without your particular contribution.

Plain Jane and Dull Dale don’t advance and succeed.  Business people call it “niche” but I think this can be applied to all areas of life.  So the challenge is this:  SALT YOUR WORLD!

Your flavorful female,


Matthew 5:13

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.”


Completion January 4, 2012

I don’t think we are ever truly complete. I recently had an epiphany – everyone I come into contact with has something I need. What can I learn from the people placed in my path? It’s a simple truth, really…
I’ve learned some really hard lessons from people. I have also learned some basic practices that have become foundational in my life. Whatever the lesson, I intend to learn it.
My advise is – be intentional to learn from others. Ask yourself, “What am I to glean from this person?” It’s a fun game – especially when you find the person particularly unsavory. Everyone has something to be noted…even Hitler (a truly distasteful human) had the invaluable gift to rally thousands.
So the challenge today is this: Rather than focusing on what you have to give others, be mindful of what others might be able to contribute to your growth as an individual. I promise, your life will be better, more fulfilling, and in the end, you will have more wealth to give.


writer’s block… January 1, 2011

Filed under: just blogging,peace — melanieross @ 8:29 pm
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-i guess one has to be a writer to contract writer’s block…blogger’s block perhaps?

i reviewed some of my past blogs and recognized that i miss expressing myself this way.  new years resolution #1 – write more.  it’s tough to get back in the groove after a time away.  life gets busy – the push and shove of the crowd of thoughts, agendas and speedy answers i have to deliver every moment.

my advice to most everyone who asks is to slow down, breathe, write, and be present…i frequently get asked, how do you do it? 5 kids, wife,  full time job, youth pastor, life coach,  etc…how?live in the moment, i say, take each moment as it comes, and don’t freak out.

i realize, i haven’t been so present lately…the last few months have quickly passed by with little time made to reflect  – and writing does just that for me.  i have a few titles of books i intend to write…someday…but someday won’t ever get here – unless space is made.

de-clutter, i must. clear my space of the rubbish that piles up – a medley of annoyances here, a lump of disapproval there, a pinch of finger pointing and a dash of if i were them…so the broom sweeps, the refreshing brush begins…

i’ve been here before – the familiar stroke of the dust cloth – how did all of this get here? to pay attention is mandatory to keeping my house, my temple tidy. clean as we go, that’s our moto…

when the twinge of pride, the muddy desire to prove or take credit shows up in this soul – i must stop, take the damp cloth of prayer and attend to my dwelling…that i may have something of worth to offer those in need…a place to rest, refresh, and gain strength.

new years resolution #2 always have fresh bread available to those who partake of my life…never stale or bitter.  may my space be nourishing to others.

Prov 3:7-8

7Do not be wise in your own eyes;Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.


going a little deeper February 14, 2010

Filed under: just blogging — melanieross @ 7:06 pm
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on this Vday, im pondering…why is it we refuse to allow others (the ones who love us most) to get close?? i know for me, im not used to someone loving me so much. stay at arms length, i think…its comfortable there…
vulnerability is difficult. but since when is growth and strength easy? letting someone in to see the good, bad and really ugly. don’t want anyone to see the repulsive, unlovely things in me. but i’m not God, not perfect. i’d love to be. how could i be so loved when some of these things are a part of me? but, really, a perfect, stepford robot can’t give and receive love…we can love because we are human…capable and inevitably making mistakes. but with this capability comes the ability to make the choice to love and accept another person…a person who also is imperfect.
the only perfect one is God – we can make a choice to follow His example. To lay down our life (our oppinions, agendas, standards) and embrace the other. I love you, Daniel. thanks for your patience while i discover receiving love. giving love is not a problem, on my part. it’s the receiving that is an issue for me. but i’m learning.


eternity May 14, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — melanieross @ 3:36 pm

beautyoh the perspective of eternity

eternal things, the true reality…

what are we taking with us as we leave this earth?

ponder that.

so what do we really worry about?  why is energy spent on the unhallowed things? 


fight for what is worth fighting for…but only that.

my life, my choice, my peace, my happines

His life, His choice, His peace, His happines

when i look back on this life, i pray i will look back with pleasure – knowing i fought for the proper circumstance – and walked away from the conditions which defile my inner harmony.

so when to fight? and when to walk?

the answers are within…

in the last 7 days, i burried my dear nephew and a dear friend also left this earth.  it’s a time to ponder the eternal realm, and so, i do.


the BIG picture of justice April 14, 2009

Filed under: just blogging — melanieross @ 6:09 pm
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we waited 3 years to hear this news.  who knew that each step was pre-determined? each  agonizing month wondering where provision would come from – after having to fork over money to someone that it does not belong to, my job loss, pay cuts and unexpected expenses-  we were so hurt, at times, angry and completely at a loss for what the heck God was doing.  and in an instant, it was all over…the money we lost was back in our hands and the trouble we were striving over for over 3 years was suddenly fixed.  it was all done in order.  and had we not had trial upon trial, this provision would not have been possible.

what does this show me? of course, He sees the BIG picture.  He is also not moved by our complaining.  He draws us to repentance through His goodness.  as i got the good news yesterday, i found myself repenting for my unbelief.  even though, i was a tuffy-pants for my husband and always told him the encouraging words i had down deep in my spirit.  but my flesh was week.  i found myself in self pitty and doubt. 

how good He is to hold up His end of His promises in spite of our shortcomings.  and what’s funny is the person whom we gave the money to – well, it’s all gone! and we have it all back!! God sees justice in a bigger picture than we do. 

ironically i am sitting here in the waiting room for jury duty…

His ways are higher.  many of my low days i sat in my room listing the things i was thankful for.  i wrote them down and posted them on my bathroom mirror. you should  bring to mind the things for which you are  thankful, i am convinced that as i rehearsed those things my faith grew. 

step by step living in the moment, one day at a time – keeping the smile and encouraging my spirit with the Word of truth.  when i least expected it- the answer – bam, right in front of me. 

i wonder how many of the people in this room are waiting for some type of personal justice. i wish i could stand up in here and yell over the sound of the young and the restless (which is playing right now) – “justice is in Christ!”

they might all look at me funny though.

thank God for His justice, its much better than mine.